If  only you knew

The pain it takes

To survive


In days like this


In this body


If only you knew

What i put in hold

To reach such tender goals

Of helping another

Many even

Living my dream

With no remorse or regret

But an empty bank account

That depletes ones soul

And services eventually


If you only knew

Of all the withhelds and banishing

Conscious and not

Of arseholes and gods saviours set to test us

In muddy waters

Even mermaids rely on

To sing make love

and dance her lullaby

If only you knew

It gets too dark in here

It gets too dark

When nobody is near

Nor wants

Or is able

to hold me.




Deliver me.



Anon. Fish.

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