living under June

it is cold wet

raining cats and dogs

i don’t like it

 

i am a summer girl

and strangely,

recently my hair

has been falling out.

 

Not just in strands

but large bunches.

 

i do have an oesteogen dominant condition

fibroid on uterus a cyst on ovaries

and chronic stress of aloneness and poverty

 

Mum’s hair fell out once

when she was first married and her mother in law

would come out to the farm and rearrange the furniture

 

surely that was not a good start

mum was beside herself

and not wanting to cause waves

would have bottled it inside

poisoning in essence her very own system

she has thinner hair than me but she lost a lot she told me

miracles and the power of prayer

are sometimes my only to

sustenance.

 

bit of poetry and tuning in to the sisterhood.

Just how long can one go

with no sleep ?

anyone?

answers welcome.

i am exhausted

my adrenals arw cooked

and more importantly

in my enigmatic world

how long can one go without touch?

anyone?

it hurts me. even to touch someone brings me back in my body

ohhh touch is my love language

she renders my soul

such a cruel cruel world she can be

makes me momentarily normal

and more bareable and able

 

i have been writing far too much

some lovely poetey

a lot of rushed nonsense

it does not work if i start reaching

out

it is best when it just empties

with a pulse of her own

besides i am not a bloody writer by trade

somebody once told me i was a great original writer with my own special style

and he encouraged me to keep going

i believed him

he is a published writer himself

and the male version of my style

a gorgeous human being too

 

others have called me a poet

 

i  can intuit peole and scribe them from a distance

 

it is disappointing though.

as i already have book one edited and formatted in the wings

 

waiting

 

just sitting there, bored and ready

and i feel

I have at least five more in me

some serviceable offerings too

 

i have lotsntonwrite about

my family

my history

noticings of this crazy world

feminism

 

and just beauty

 

i love writing about love

 

who doesn’tit softens us

we need softening

in today’s hard world

 

 

so go forth gently my love

 

and know what beauty there many be in silence

 

pray today gets warmer

my hair thicker and jennifer better

from her brain and breast cancer

 

 

only the good ones die young.

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